How to move on after a long term relationship breakup
One of the biggest struggles after a breakup is finding a way to move forward with your life, especially if the relationship went on for quite some time. How can you find the strength and direction to continue with your life when so much of your identity and life is tied up in your EX? How can you deal with the pain of the relationship ending while also working towards your healing?
Move on by letting go of anger, hurt, hatred and jealousy
One of the biggest mistakes we make after a break-up is assuming that if we’re angry long enough, it will help us let go of our EX. We think the feelings of hatred, hurt and jealousy will make our hearts so angry against the person that eventually we’ll let them go.
This is False!
Things that we don’t care about don’t affect us.
If you aren’t still connected to your EX, you won’t care about what he does. You won’t wake up wondering who he’s with or what he’s doing. You’ll simply let go and move on.
Your anger, hurt, hatred and jealousy show that you still care and if you still care that means you haven’t let go.
The best way to truly let go of your ex is to let go of anger, hurt, hatred and jealousy. The problem is, it’s really really hard.
Let Go of Hurt after a Long-term Relationship Breakup
Get honest with yourself! What happened in the relationship? Why are you so mad about it? What can you control about the situation?
Practice letting go of hurt, anger, hatred and jealousy by intentionally replacing the angry thoughts with thoughts about your future, where you’re going and what you intend to be doing. Replace the thoughts of negativity with positivity.
Practice time alone where you write the negative thoughts on a paper and hold them in your hand. Slowly release the paper and imagine releasing the emotions at the same time. Make a ceremony out of burning the the negative thoughts or using slow, calm breathing to release your association with the long term relationship
It will take work to let go. It won’t be an easy overnight process, but step-by-step, you will continue to move forward in the healing process.
Being with someone for a long time can make you scared to start over
The biggest fear we have in life is the fear of the unknown.
The fear we feel after a break-up can be crippling! Starting over is hard. You know the feeling when you start a new job or a new school or move to a new state. Starting over after a break-up conjures up similar fears. The fear of being left out. The fear of rejection. The fear of being alone and the fear of feeling lonely.
Relax. These aren’t new fears nor are you the only person experiencing them. They are universal.
How do you address them?
After a Long Relationship, See the Unknown as a Chance to Start Over with a New Opportunity
Why not flip the situation on its head. Instead of seeing the unknown and the prospect of starting over as something to be afraid of, see it as an opportunity!
Yes, you don’t know what’s ahead, but you do know what’s behind you. You’ve experienced it. Whether it was an outright bad experience for you or just not a good fit, you can tick that off your list. Been there! Done that! Got the T-Shirt!
From here forward, you don’t need to go back. You’ve had that experience.
Become your own best company. It’s not so bad to spend some time alone. Do you enjoy your own company? Use this time to gather your thoughts and become the best version of yourself possible. You’ll find that you’re pretty cool to hang out with! And when you believe that, you will give those feelings off to other people as well.
Remember that after a Long Relationship, You’re Still Desirable
Have you ever heard of this film called “I Can Do Bad All By Myself”. Exactly that. Don’t worry about finding someone else. The name of the game is not who can you find and who can you be with. It’s about living your best life. When you’re living your best life and you’re the best version of you possible, you will attract someone into your world. Staying because of fear is the worst reason to stay.
Realise Your Value and Self-Worth
Realise your value and self-worth. You are an amazing, beautifully created woman. You deserve so much more than settling. I want you to write down unique and amazing things about yourself on notecards. As the day goes on and you forget these truths about yourself, I want you to remind yourself of your value and self-worth.
Your ex didn’t give you value so he most certainly can’t take it away!