As a woman, surviving the first month after your breakup can feel like one of the most heartbreaking things you’ve ever had to do. The pain is raw and every memory can send you into a spiral of tears.
How do you survive the first month after your breakup?
1. Don’t beg him to stay
As tempting as it may be, don’t beg your EX to stay around. You are the prize to be won so you don’t need to beg anyone to be with you. Doing this will change the power dynamics of the relationship, and you’ll always feel like you’re trying to get, keep and capture your man’s attention and no woman wants that.
2. Understand what’s happening
Breaking-up can feel so confusing, especially if you weren’t expecting it to happen and if you’re the one who’s being broken up with. Pause, take a breath and let your mind process what’s happening. Don’t just think about the good things you’re missing, think of all the stress and drama that will be exiting your life as well! You won’t do it all in one sitting, but begin to think about the long-term impact this could have and what your new reality might look like.
3. Grieve the loss
If you’re honest with yourself, you’re experiencing a death – the death of a relationship and all that came with it. Recognise this and allow yourself to go through the grieving process.
Give yourself permission to cry and be sad. Let it out. It’s part of the grieving process and will help you begin to heal.
5. Start 30 days of no contact
Using the no contact rule to give you power back in this situation is your friend. One of the worst things about a breakup is that it makes you feel so powerless. Get your power back by starting a period of no contact.
6. Create a support system
Make sure you get the right people in your corner. This doesn’t always mean all your girlfriends. Find the friends who are your ride or die chicks, who are honest, but loving; gentle but strong. You don’t want to get even more depressed by who you decide to hang out with so be careful who you choose to let in your inner circle at this time!
7. Write encouragement to yourself
Find a few encouraging quotes and write them on notecards. Look at them whenever you need a moment of encouragement. I used to carry mine around in my purse or work bag, and I constantly reminded myself of the reality that was on those cards (in my case Bible promises) instead of the false reality that was floating around in my head.
8. Believe there’s a future even if you can’t see it right now
Lean on your support system to help you believe that there’s a future beyon what you can see right now. You may not be able to see it or believe it exists but keep reminding yourself it’s there. Also, let yourself believe others when they try to encourage you for the future. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when it feels like there’s no end in sight and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
9. Don’t share your business
As you’re navigating the next few weeks and months ahead, make the decision not to share your business with lots of people. This is why you chose your inner circle so you can hold your cards close to your chest. And, the best place to refrain from sharing and maintain your privacy in a moment like this is social media.
10. Practice being grateful
Although you may not feel it right now, so many things are happening right for you! You’re alive. You were able to eat food this morning. You have access to internet (you’re reading this right?). Count your blessings (even when you really, really don’t feel like it) so you can keep things in perspective.
11. Do something each day towards your happiness
Every day, whether you feel it or not, do something that will make you crack a little smile! If you need a few suggestions, you can grab my suggestions about how to bring a little bit of happiness to your life in this moment.
12. Lean on God
One of the biggest things that got me through every breakup has been my relationship with God and leaning on it and praying regularly has made an enormous difference in my life.
13. Make a Breakup Survival Plan
I want to help you move forward in this moment and the best way I can do that is to offer you my support through helping you create a Breakup Survival Plan. It helps you think in this dark moment about how you can organise your thoughts, emotions, support system and get your power back. It’s one powerful step you can take in your journey.
Download it below and get started with helping your heart heal and moving forward more empowered than you were before.