When it comes to the end of relationship, there is an upside to getting mad!
So, my question to you is, are you using anger to your benefit or is it using you? If you don’t understand the anger you may be feeling, it will control you instead of you controlling it.
Anger can give you something to hold on to.
Are you using anger to protect your heart?
On the one hand, it helps us hang on to whoever wronged us because sometimes we’re not ready to let go, which is totally normal.
You’ve built a life with someone and have hopes and dreams with him. Why would you let go of that so easily?
So even though you may be killing it with the no-contact rule, and are avoiding checking his social media, texting or calling, you’re still looking for some way to stay connected. After all, this was your best friend for so long.
So, you may be using the anger to hang on to the relationship.
The objective is to recognise that’s what you’re doing so you can let go of the anger and let go of the relationship. Otherwise, you can feel like you’ve let go of the relationship, but because of your anger, you’re holding on tightly to the relationship and it will prevent you from moving on with your life.
Anger can protect your heart
The second way anger benefits us is It’s like the hard shell of a turtle protecting all the soft, squishy organs keeping the turtle alive.
Any anger you’re holding on to is that protective layer, keeping you safe from being hurt.
And that’s fine for a while, but if you always keep people at a distance, you’ll never open yourself up to love.
Anger is a surface emotion that’s covering up more vulnerable emotions, like sadness, guilt, loneliness and grief.
The problem is, we might be trying to be angry with just the people we want to keep away from our hearts, like men who aren’t worthy, but the anger oozes out on to everything.
And if we always default to anger, we don’t deal with the real emotions we’re feeling. It’s okay to be sad. It’s necessary for us to deal with any guilt we may have and to address our loneliness.
Anger can make you take action, when you would have sat by idly
Sometimes, anger is that boost you need to make you get up and do something. Something may always feel off about the relationship, but it’s often anger that pushes you to get up and do something.
So are you using anger or is anger using you? Are you controlling it or is it controlling you.
Anger is a normal emotion. It’s when we hold on to it and it rules our lives that it can become extremely damaging.
Using it to know when to leave and to set standards in your and to protect your heart is the way to use it and not let it use you.
Learn more about how to break free from anger…