Are you ready to meet the one? You might have your hair did and your clothes on point but is your heart prepared to make that big leap? Is your heart ready to be open to love? Are you prepared to be vulnerable and show someone the good and the bad of who you are? And are you ready to see the good and bad of someone and love them anyway?
Here are our 10 questions you can ask yourself on your quest to meet “the one”.
1. Are you ready to love?
While this seems like the simplest of questions, it’s at the heart of the matter. Are you ready to love? Are you ready to put someone else’s needs before your own? Are you ready to show love and receive love?
I’m not saying straight off the bat you should be putting your boyfriend or girlfriend’s needs first, but you should have a heart that’s prepared to develop the ability to be selfless. If you’re preparing to enter a relationship that might someday lead to marriage, have you prepared your heart to have the capacity to love in the way another person needs to be loved?
2. Are you ready to be vulnerable?
Relationships are at their most beautiful when they are between two people who are really ready to go deep and be emotionally intimate. Again, I’m not suggesting you should be completely emotionally vulnerable with a boyfriend or girlfriend – because that can be just a temporary situation – but you should have a heart that’s prepared to become vulnerable as God shows you that this is a person you should invest more time and emotion into.
3. How’s your relationship with God?
I know we’re talking about a romantic relationship and not your spiritual one, but you’d be surprised how connected the two are. If you are in tune with “The One” it’s much easier to hear God when He leads you to “the one” He’s saying yes to. Whether you’re seeking a romantic relationship or not (though I assume you are because you’re reading this article) a relationship with God is the most important thing you can pursue. Having this aspect of your life in order puts you in a better position to meet “the one”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you have to be perfect in this area, but in my experience, when I am striving to get closer to God, it has a real impact on my love life.
4. Can you pray like it matters?
Related to the previous point, how’s your prayer life? Do you know how to pray like it really matters because it really does matter. The best way to learn how to hear God’s voice is to spend time with Him. I can remember very specific things God has said to me in the middle of relationships. Sometimes He’s told me to walk away or to wait or to be still and listen. It’s only because I’ve learned to tune in to His voice that I have been able to identify and follow what He was telling me to do when it has really mattered. Again, you don’t need to have achieved perfection. Most important is that you have the lines of communication open and that you’re walking with Him and talking to Him each day. If you do this, you’ll know His voice when He tells you to do something.
5. How is your faith?
Have you learned to trust God even when you can’t see Him and don’t understand what He’s doing? That’s faith. Faith is trusting and believing that God is who He said He is and will do what He says He will do even when you can’t see the path or how it will all work out. Faith is trusting God even while you’re waiting. Have you learned to trust God in all of life’s situations? The beautiful thing about faith is that it grows. In the Bible, it’s compared to a mustard seed and that’s because it grows through time and experience. The more you walk with God and learn to trust Him in various situations, the more you will trust Him. Are you walking with God and growing your faith?
6. Do you know what you are you looking for?
I once watched an episode of “Say Yes to the Dress”. The consultant at Kleinfield’s looked at the camera, while helping one of the future brides, and said this bride has no idea what she’s looking for so we could be here all day. She’s looking at dresses from every style possible and is so wishy washy when she tries them on. She’s always search for the next best dress because she doesn’t know which dress is the best dress for her.
It always helps when you know what you’re looking for. Part of knowing what you’re looking for requires you to know yourself. Do you know yourself well enough to know what personality might complement your personality? Do you understand the traits a person might have that would work well with you and those that would really push all your buttons?
Having an idea of what you’re looking for can begin to set you on the path to having your eyes open in the right places.
I’d like to add one small caveat to this point, when your relationship with God is working like it should, your desires and God’s desires for you will come together and will lead you to sharing with God what you’re looking for and God sharing with you what He knows will be best for you. It’s the meeting of this two minds and hearts where the magic happens!
7. Do you love yourself?
What do you think about yourself? Can you go right now and look in the mirror and see the value and worth that you have? Are you proud of who you are and what you can dream and accomplish? Have you forgiven yourself for past mistakes and accepted God’s forgiveness? Do you love and respect yourself because of the value that God gives you? If you don’t love yourself or even like yourself, what’s keeping you from it?
8. Do you feel like you are your best self?
One of the most unhealthy things we can do in life is compare ourselves to others because their best may not be your best. Where they excel may not be where you excel. But what you can aim to do is to be your best self. Ask yourself, what does that look like? Who is that person? Who am I on my best day – physically, emotionally, spiritually, career wise, as a friend and family member? Getting this area of your life together can help you love yourself more fully and deeply because you know you’re being the best you you can be.
9. Have you dealt with your stuff?
Rest assured, we all got stuff! Some of our traumas may go deeper than others, but they are still there. Sometimes they come from our families and other times from failed relationships. The most important thing we can do is deal with our stuff. This helps us avoid dragging old baggage into a new relationship and straddling someone with all of our past issues.
With this being said, I don’t want to lead anyone to believe that they must be perfect in order to enter a relationship. When the relationship is right and God has said yes and you’re open to being vulnerable, you may find someone who you feel comfortable being vulnerable with. This is still dealing with your stuff. Dealing with your stuff is about having the awareness to know what areas of your life need to be addressed and taking the steps to deal with them. It is about realising that your husband or boyfriend, while loving and supportive, is not your counsellor. It’s about having the awareness to take the steps to be the healthiest you possible. It’s not just good for the health of the relationship but for your health as well.
10. Do you have open hands and an open heart towards God?
The most important quality you can have when having a heart prepared to meet “the one” is open hands and an open heart towards God. Open to give, open to receive and open to let go. Trust God and depend on Him to lead you where He wants you to be.
Do you want to know how to prepare your heart to meet the one?