When I think back to the intensity of my feelings for one of my exes, presently, it’s almost laughable because he means so little to me now. My heart doesn’t skip a beat when I think of him. I don’t have fond memories that make me smile.
But still, I remember the moment I decided to walk away and stop fighting for the relationship like it was yesterday.
I was in the airport on my way back to my job in the Middle East. We had been long-distance for many months. He had hooked up with an ex-girlfriend of his while I was away, and I discovered it on my visit back home.
Initially, I was a little bit crushed. I hate dishonesty, and I had invested a bit of myself in the relationship. I had tried to see if things would work out, but he said they wouldn’t.
As I sat there, waiting for my flight, something just flipped inside of me.
I’m not sure if it’s because I was physically leaving that place to go to a new place. I don’t know what it was, but something clicked.
It’s like Mary J. Blige’s “I’m Not Gonna Cry” is the soundtrack to this memory in my life,
Well I’m not gon cry,
I’m not gon cry,
I’m not gon shed no tears
No, I’m not gon cry,
It’s not the time,
‘Cause you’re not worth my tears
And in that moment, I decided he was NOT worth my tears. For me, there was no turning back.
The Turning Point
Every breakup seems to have a turning point. There’s this moment when you wipe your tears, pick up your crown and keep moving.
Some people turn back around again and find themselves in the same situation, but many times, people hit a turning point and there’s no looking back.
Here are the five things I needed to find that turning point:
- A sense of my value and self-worth
- A determination of what I wanted for my life and what I wasn’t going to accept
- A significant life change
- A physical action that mirrored what was happening emotionally for me
- A spiritual boost of strength that I was going to perfectly fine.
Have you had your turning point in your breakup? What do you think it will take for you to get there?